It's Not Me - It's A Programming Problem

A few weeks back I had an interesting experience while in the waiting room at the Social Security Office. A woman sat next to me who I believe mistakenly assumed I had a Psychiatry 5 Cents Sign above my head, like  Lucy of the Peanuts.  No, she did not pay me. But the lesson that reinserted itself into my life from her story was priceless.

My recollection of what this woman told me about her situation(s) is not taking a writer's liberty to exaggerate a bit for impact.  This is was exactly  what she claimed.  The brunette middle aged woman told me that she could not work and could not provide for her son and that no one would help her.  After fighting Social Security for disability myself for 7 years, this wasn't surprising to me.

Then as she proceeded to talk to me, her story made a big fish story seem like God's truth.  The woman claimed that she had been diagnosed with cancer. Then she said she was injured at work.  She stated that when she was injured, co-workers walked by her fallen body and would not help her.  She further asserted that none of the workman's compensation doctors in our city would look at her.  She claimed to have been at every hospital in town for her issue.  This woman also said that the company she worked for when she was injured tried to cover up her injury.  She said that this company had sent people to try and kill her and had set her home on fire. And that the police would not pursue the crime because of the influence of this company. She also alleged that an attorney who was supposed to be helping her stole $300,000 from her.  Oh,  and the woman claimed that she had approached all of the news stations and they would not cover her story.  Believe it or not there were more allegations, but I want to keep it short and to the point (chuckle).

As I sat there, rather amused.  It was one of the most ridiculous conspiracy stories I had ever heard out of someone's mouth.  And I then thought to myself that even if this isn't true this woman is making herself frightened and miserable just by thinking and talking about these made-up tragedies.  She is programming her life for disaster by repeating these false stories..  That's when I had an "A-Ha" moment.  Perhaps, I, too, create suffering in my life when  I think and speak about my circumstances  from a negative position.  Even if they are "true".

So I again am changing my language in my thoughts and words.  I am no longer going to say that I am disabled or living on disability.  If someone asks what I do for a living I will tell them I write and mention some of my voluntary activities.  They don't need to know that my check comes from social security.  If a person asks how I am feeling, I am going to say "Great, but need a little rest"  instead of saying I am tired.  When I am doing activities recommended by my doctor I am going to tell myself this is what I am doing to keep my body in good health instead of agonizing and thinking I am doing this because I am ill.  I am changing the my story and my programming.  And making myself happier by doing so.

As far as the woman, I left her sitting there when my number was called to repeat her story to another.  I didn't bother to tell her that it would be easy for her to be awarded disability for  schizophrenia.

And that's Penny's Two Cents.