As one holiday tradition passes into another, I believe that regardless of your views on the origin of the holiday, it is always a season to for thanksgiving. Gratitude can be expressed in any time and any circumstance. And often in the paradoxes of life. Let me explain how this is working for me right now.
Last week, I was privileged to take part in a week long conference entitled "Braveheart Women RISE 2012" in Los Angeles, California. (More to come on this in next week's blog). In spite of having been healing through chronic illnesses that have been plaguing the body I live in, I was able to feel vivacious. I drummed, danced, and communed with the rest of the women like the healthy person I aspire to be. I felt like a woman half my age, but with wisdom, a few more wrinkles, and reading glasses in tow. I am grateful for this taste of health!
And then I came home. I am having some pain I have not experienced before. I was having some of this pain during the conference, but was able to ignore it. Part of me wanted to go back to last week, but I know I must embrace today and all that it encompasses. I am grateful for the ability to face what I must in this land of forms while knowing I can transcend it in spirit and by moving one step at a time on a path towards healing and sharing my purpose.
I am grateful for the wisdom to know that all things happen in the right timing. I am grateful to accept that I must press on at a seemingly snail's pace compared to how I operated several years ago. And I am grateful because I now know that the pace I use to operate at was not truly healthy or good.
I am grateful for understanding friends who have been there when it was tough for me. I am grateful for new friends and old friends reacquainted. I am grateful because I know I can still give and have purpose even without the usual sense of career and job many of my contemporaries possess. I can offer a smile when I'm walking my dog. I can hug my daughter. I can laugh and now that it is contagious!
I am grateful because I have compassion and understanding for those in pain. I am grateful because I must face the reality that many are deluded from knowing: we do not know what the future holds. But I am grateful because I know regardless of circumstances, in the end all will be ok.
And that's Penny's two cents.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Two Days Late and Two Cents Short? Bring Em' Home
Okay I missed my deadline for posting my blog on Sunday, so I felt compelled to be clever with my title. But I digress no more...
Sunday, November 11th was originally know as Armistice Day. As one of the church vicar's explained in his homily, the meaning of Armistice Day was that his Dad could come home from the war. It was established at the end of World War I and was replaced with Veteran's Day after World War II. Veteran's Day is celebrated on November 12th.
I am a veteran of the US Navy. I was blessed to have been able to serve in a time of relative peace and at the end of the cold war. I was stationed at Naval Air Station, North Island which is on Coronado Island, a fair weather peninsula in San Diego, California. I went to sleep to the ocean crashing. I ran on the beach in the morning. And sometimes when I would run, I would see SEALS swimming or running nearby. (That's US Navy SEALS, which I preferred to watch over the other mammal variety of seals!) I almost feel guilty saying that I served. Life was pretty grand.
Circumstances came that required that I turn to the Veteran's Administration for my healthcare in the past two years. Part of my healthcare has been participation in a therapy group. I participate with several Vietnam veterans and Desert storm veterans; many of whom struggle with PTSD. Some cannot go anywhere in a crowd including taking their children to Disneyland. Many detest 4th of July celebrations because the fireworks sound like mortar rounds. Some have to take medication to keep from having psychotic episodes. These men and women have paid a great price and are heroic in doing their part in recovering the best way they can.
Post 9/11 soldiers have had to endure longer deployments than any other military personnel in contemporary history I haven't seen any of these people in my support group and can't imagine the difficulties they are suffering from their long exposure to war. And they are in no-win situations where the people they are fighting have no qualms about using senior citizens and children as human shields. The people they are helping seem to not want them there. I imagine the mental state of these soldiers is worse than any we have seen in soldiers of earlier wars
So let's honor these military men and women. Let's celebrate these veterans and celebrate life. Let's call another Armistice Day and bring them home NOW.
Mr. President, you have been re-elected. Bring our soldiers home. Dear friends and blog readers, write your congress people and senators. Bring our soldiers home, now. Our world and our country are not safer by being in countries that do not want us there. Our world and our country need to be healed. It's the day of reckoning, it's time to do the right thing. Time for Armistice Day.
And that's Penny's two cents.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Who are the Blessed?
Today at church, the homily was given and on Matthew 5:1-5, known in Christian circles as the five verses or sentences of the Be-Attitudes. Jesus went up to a mountain top to give this teaching to the common people of his day. These people lived in poverty, were in a country occupied by Rome, were constantly bombarded with rumors and actions against their government, saw that the religious leaders of their day were more concerned with politics and appearances than the plight of their people, and as Hebrew people were very oppressed in their society. Jesus was telling these people that they were blessed. And this is a basic run down of what he said that day.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". Who are the poor in spirit? They are those who according to their own society's standards have nothing to be happy about. They don't own nice cars, homes, have 401K's or college funds for their children.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted". Those who have experienced loss of loved ones, careers, marriages, and health are in this category
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Who are the meek? I see them as the lowliest in our society. The dumpster divers digging out cans, those who live in homeless shelters, and those who are in prison. They include those who are oppressed and need a voice to advocate for them.
There are several more of these verses/teachings in this sermon of Jesus. But I would like to just concentrate on these first three for this writing. What does blessed mean? It means favored by God, it means to be picked as God's chosen. The Christian tradition often infers that Jesus was saying that by enduring their current state, these people would experience the "best" in their afterlife. But I don't agree.
Seven years ago I was no longer able to work due to some serious health conditions that have plagued the body I live in. I could not give my daughter the attention children with healthier parents received. I had to rest long hours and could not get out much to meet with friends or do the things I loved to do like sing in the choir. I could not give my spouse the kind of support he needed. I couldn't keep up my house. I had family members and "friends" who were skeptical about the severity of my illness.
Later, my spouse lost his job too. We filed bankruptcy. We were in foreclosure limbo. And in the midst of these circumstances, I knew one decision I needed to make for the health of myself and my daughter was to get a divorce. Family members, clergy, and many "friends" were eager to tell me how unwise this decision was for me. All while being in the midst of having low income and chronic illness. But listen to Jesus, folks. I was blessed, I was f-ing blessed!!
Truth be told, this experience WAS the blessing! I had to get on my knees and pray for direction as I never prayed and be satisfied that if my decision was ok with God and me and no one else, than that was good enough. If everyone else in the universe believed I was feigning the severity of my illness, so what. I embraced my truth and lived it, and my life was blessed.
I learned that I had inherent value even if I couldn't work, clean, or get out of the house much. I embraced opportunities when others would take my daughter on fun outings. I became very close to a few wonderful women who could understand me. I invited people over when the house was still in disarray. When I would go to the drugstore, I would offer a smile and conversation to whoever I encountered. I learned not to be afraid about what would happen in the future. Because according to societal standards, I didn't have one. But it didn't matter, because I was happy! I was blessed.
A few months ago, I was finally awarded social security disability. I sing in the choir. I am writing this weekly blog. I am blessed, but as my living conditions improve, I sometimes forget. I've been picking up some nice items to decorate the apartment. I am on an internet dating site. But I still have health set backs and right now the clutter in the apartment feels overwhelming.
So what did I do? I yelled at my daughter. Perhaps she could help more, but the bottom line is that I forgot that I am blessed. I have an incredible teenage daughter. I have a roof over my head and income and goals. So what if the apartment is running a bit a-muck. (I got like one of those overachieving obsessive compulsive perfectly healthy rich and super busy people - Ugh)! I know if it is important to get the house in order NOW, God and the universe will give me the energy or the help or the right people to ask for help. In the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Because I am blessed, right now.
And that's Penny's two cents.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven". Who are the poor in spirit? They are those who according to their own society's standards have nothing to be happy about. They don't own nice cars, homes, have 401K's or college funds for their children.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted". Those who have experienced loss of loved ones, careers, marriages, and health are in this category
"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Who are the meek? I see them as the lowliest in our society. The dumpster divers digging out cans, those who live in homeless shelters, and those who are in prison. They include those who are oppressed and need a voice to advocate for them.
There are several more of these verses/teachings in this sermon of Jesus. But I would like to just concentrate on these first three for this writing. What does blessed mean? It means favored by God, it means to be picked as God's chosen. The Christian tradition often infers that Jesus was saying that by enduring their current state, these people would experience the "best" in their afterlife. But I don't agree.
Seven years ago I was no longer able to work due to some serious health conditions that have plagued the body I live in. I could not give my daughter the attention children with healthier parents received. I had to rest long hours and could not get out much to meet with friends or do the things I loved to do like sing in the choir. I could not give my spouse the kind of support he needed. I couldn't keep up my house. I had family members and "friends" who were skeptical about the severity of my illness.
Later, my spouse lost his job too. We filed bankruptcy. We were in foreclosure limbo. And in the midst of these circumstances, I knew one decision I needed to make for the health of myself and my daughter was to get a divorce. Family members, clergy, and many "friends" were eager to tell me how unwise this decision was for me. All while being in the midst of having low income and chronic illness. But listen to Jesus, folks. I was blessed, I was f-ing blessed!!
Truth be told, this experience WAS the blessing! I had to get on my knees and pray for direction as I never prayed and be satisfied that if my decision was ok with God and me and no one else, than that was good enough. If everyone else in the universe believed I was feigning the severity of my illness, so what. I embraced my truth and lived it, and my life was blessed.
I learned that I had inherent value even if I couldn't work, clean, or get out of the house much. I embraced opportunities when others would take my daughter on fun outings. I became very close to a few wonderful women who could understand me. I invited people over when the house was still in disarray. When I would go to the drugstore, I would offer a smile and conversation to whoever I encountered. I learned not to be afraid about what would happen in the future. Because according to societal standards, I didn't have one. But it didn't matter, because I was happy! I was blessed.
A few months ago, I was finally awarded social security disability. I sing in the choir. I am writing this weekly blog. I am blessed, but as my living conditions improve, I sometimes forget. I've been picking up some nice items to decorate the apartment. I am on an internet dating site. But I still have health set backs and right now the clutter in the apartment feels overwhelming.
So what did I do? I yelled at my daughter. Perhaps she could help more, but the bottom line is that I forgot that I am blessed. I have an incredible teenage daughter. I have a roof over my head and income and goals. So what if the apartment is running a bit a-muck. (I got like one of those overachieving obsessive compulsive perfectly healthy rich and super busy people - Ugh)! I know if it is important to get the house in order NOW, God and the universe will give me the energy or the help or the right people to ask for help. In the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Because I am blessed, right now.
And that's Penny's two cents.
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