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| Oreo with my Daughter |
To my dear friends,
I did not really disappear from the face of the earth. But, yes, I was hiding. Under a cloud of depression. I am treading my heavy feet back into a place of light. Started a "new" medication and began a regimented diet and exercise plan. Giving a new therapist a go at it since my last one moved out of the area. Making the extra health care activities I was advised to attend to over the last few years a priority.
I am thankful that I decided to keep my dear dog Oreo, even though at one point I felt like we were mutual burdens to each other. Oreo appeared to be the "burden" to me by being a dog that likes to get into the trash, has destructive anxiety attacks over high-pitched noises (with good reason), and sheds his black fur all over the apartment . I, being a burden to Oreo, because of my inability to give him the attention and exercise he needed. Truth-be-told, I would not have gotten out of the house most days during the past five months if it wasn't for Oreo. And gradually we are both getting the exercise and companionship we need.
And, I understand now that Penny was vulnerable to going to this dark place because of Ego. Ego did not want to pay attention to the health issues Penny faces. Ego wanted to be completely ethereal and upbeat. Ego didn't want the drudgery of routines and schedules that reminded her of her bodies limitations. Well now ego has no choice but to face the reality.
Penny is moving ahead with gracious structure on diet, exercise, and routine. The steps will be slowly but surely. (Ego hates going slow!!!). Penny is ready to live and move and breathe from a place of peace not frantic action. This is a new skill for her. And a full life is about constant growth.
