Declaring Our Independence

Since it's July 4th, it seems appropriate to declare our independence.  Let's look at embracing what will truly set us free.

Let us declare our independence from labels that make us feel less than our neighbor.  Let us declare our independence from needing to own guns to feel safe.  Let us declare our independence from working ourselves into the ground to live the "American Dream", which often results in our own personal nightmare.  Let us declare our independence of the idea that anyone should ever be excluded.

As you attend July 4th fireworks celebrations around our country, you may see that a group that gave to the country in the name of protecting our freedom are conspicuously absent.  Who are these people?  These are war veterans who's PTSD prevents them from enjoying the noise of fireworks because it mimics the sounds of war and danger.

Therefore, let us declare our independence from the notion that we need to continue to invest and participate in war as we have in the past.  Peace and compassion are the true paths to freedom.

And that's Penny' two cents.

Maintaining Sanity

I was outside walking my dear dog, Oreo (or should I say he was walking me).  I came upon a elderly woman who was talking to herself and I had an epiphany:   I could write a funny Tweet/Facebook post about how the delusional appear to be "normal" people who are using their blue tooth (or is the plural blue "teeth")?   It would be humorous and clever, of course.  And I could poke fun at myself because at times I also talk to myself.  But, as I came closer to this woman, I could hear what she was saying, and it wasn't so funny.

The names she used have been changed to protect perhaps the not so innocent.  But her rants went something like this:  I am chasing Mary.  I am chasing Mary Jones.  I am going to beat the hell out of Mary Jones.  I am chasing Bob.  I am chasing Bob Miller.  Bob Miller abused me.  I am going beat the hell out of Bob Miller.  Repeat.  Rewind.  Add a few more names and details.  These statements were her mantras.

Did this distress me?  No.  Hearing this woman ranting threats brought me sadness, then contemplation.  Haven't I previously had inner chants of victimization and even revenge going on in my mind?   What helped me overcome these inner negative statements?    Truth and Forgiveness.

The origin of many of my repetitive negative thoughts was deep repressed feelings from a lack of Truth around poor behaviors directed at me by others.   The Truth sets one free from the delusion.  But at first it is not comfortable.  The evolving reality requires change.  This change initially creates more rants, etc.   Therapy, journaling, conversing with "holy company" can all help one cope with all of the repressed feelings regarding seeing the reality of the situation a new way.  But this is only the beginning step.

After facing the reality of having received the bad behavior from the "other", the higher Truth is that I have been given the life I need to become the best expression of the Divine.  And once I understand the truth I am required to set boundaries with others to keep my Self healthy.  Then,  I must remind myself that all beings do their best, even those who have mistreated me.  All deserve forgiveness.

So I was given a gentle reminder:  Live and embrace Truth.  Stay aligned with Truth by setting healthy boundaries.  Forgive all.  My sanity depends on it!

And that's Penny's Two Cents.

On Weight and Clutter: First Things First

The body I live in has chronic illnesses at this moment.  Period.  Am I truly suffering from this?  No!!  Yet to be the best representative of my true Self I need to take care of myself in the present.  And this self-care needs to be my FIRST priority.  NOT as a means to an End but as something to embrace doing in the NOW.

I've resisted this in the past because I saw these self-care actions as some tedious thing that reminded me I was ill.  But the reality was that  I was looking at these actions as a means to an end (health) which is not a "bad" intention, yet it's missing the essence of mind-spirit-body well-being by taking me out of the present.

So I'm transforming my thoughts  on these things.  I am creating "To do lists" / "Schedules" for these health care treatments and calling them "Set Intentions".  I am creating a check off form for these items that will be set intentions that are daily, weekly, monthly, etc.  Setting intentions is graceful to myself as well accepting that God and the Universe may bring me something to embrace that falls out of the parameter of "my plans".

Here's a view into my Set Intentions for self-care:

Daily:

• Meditate 20 minutes
• Vinegar foot soak 30 minutes two times per day
• Lymphedema self massage with elevated feet two times per day
• Walk 3000 steps*
• Log food intake*
• Track walking and exercise*
• Modified yoga for healthy back 8 minutes*

Weekly:

• Swim 20 minutes two times per week*
• Weight training 20 minutes two times per week*
• Free style dancing (DYBO) 30 minutes one time per week*
• Cook / create new recipe that is healthful for me and delicious

Other:

• Make appointment for Physical Rehab regarding lymphedema
• Make appointment to request a SADS light

This is a start at making first things first in my life with grace.  I'm embracing life in the moment.  Let's see how this unfolds.

*These items I track on apps on my smartphone.

On Weight and Clutter: Savor the Flavor #1

I recently discovered the lack of tasty home-cooked food is what was really weighing me down. As well as dreading the perceived work of cooking.  Healthy ingredients are a given.  But so are flavorful ingredients.  Ayurvedic medicine practitioners recommend each meal has all of the flavors in it.   They also say that what you are thinking when you cook affects the quality of the Although I won't always go to the full extent of Indian tradition, I do realize that it is important to have savory food on  a regular basis.  And I need to enjoy the preparation!

Chili Colorado Served Grain/Gluten Free and Very Low Sugar 

So here is my first edition of Savor the Flavor which will include a new original recipe or a link for a new recipe that falls within the parameters of the low carb diet I must follow to attain good health.  I also will include "Penny's Pointers"  extra tips for what I discovered in preparing this dish/meal.

Link for this weeks recipe:


http://davidsfreerecipes.com/chili-colorado

Penny's Pointers

1. Be especially mindful of the liquid in the meat while it is simmering and add more water if needed.
2. I substituted four (4) Sweet Mini Peppers (Orange and Yellow) for the green bell pepper since I had these in the house and the sauce was still delicious!
3. I served with 3 cups of romaine lettuce, 1/4 avocado, 2 Tbsp. Greek Full Fat Yogurt, and Salsa to keep in compliance with my doctor's recommended diet.
4. Vegetarian and Vegan friends, the sauce itself tastes amazing and can be used to make vegee and or cheese enchiladas, top burritos, put in soups or for whatever else you can imagine.  It makes a large quantity in concentrate so you do get a lot for your effort and you can freeze some for later use.

My sink, four days after preparing this dish - LOL!

On Weight and Clutter: The Weight of Dread

Yes, I received ANOTHER diagnosis recently:  pre-diabetes.  And a visit with a nutritionist helped me realize I wasn't eating enough in the morning which was contributing to my low energy in the daytime.  And what is really important is that now I realize the diet that my extremely cherished fibromyalgia doctor recommended to me six years ago would have likely prevented and can ultimately cure my last two diagnoses.  Furthermore,  I've been complaining about my health for several years (aka saying that this part of my life is sh*&) when the source of the stench is that I've had my head up my ass and not doing something that a valued physician recommended and I knew would really be helpful!!

The diet that Dr.  St. Amand recommends he calls the HG (hypoglycemic) diet.  He recommends a strict version for patients who are overweight (me) that cuts out all starches, sugar, starchy vegetables, and most fruits.  And interestingly enough, all of the diets that I researched for some of my other health conditions aka lipedema, lymphedema, multiple sclerosis, pre-diabetes fall within the same parameters of  my doctor's HG diet.  Consistently all diets for inflammatory conditions recommend cutting out sugar, processed grains, and gluten.  Now it's time to get off my butt and do what I knew I should have been doing for several years.  No excuses.

I started this a few weeks ago in conjunction with using a smartphone fitness app that records my food intake, steps walked, and exercise.  Then I fell off the wagon for about five days and felt bad and slept more.  Why did this happen?   I have allowed the heavy weight of dread to take over my life.  Yes, fatigue is a real issue for me.  But it is impossible to get anything done when I begin to anticipate the healthy activity as being a drain.  So I often was not cooking and doing meal substitutes (which are ok on occasion).  This was worse than the dread of fatigue from having to prepare, cook, and clean up.  In fact when I am honest with myself I realize that there have been times in my life I really enjoyed cooking.

I am no longer going to think about the work or the mess.  I am going to concoct or find new recipes with anticipation and think of it as a creative endeavor.  The work and mess will take care of themselves in due time.  (As I will have more energy to clean)!  Cooking will no longer be viewed by me as a means to an end,  but a joyful experience.  And I am going to introduce a new recipe that works with my diet via my blog each week with my own tips on preparing the recipe.

I feel invigorated and starting to see a way back to lighter living!

On Weight and Clutter: The Dog Stays: The Ego Gets Put on a Leash

Oreo with my Daughter

To my dear friends, 

I did not really disappear from the face of the earth.  But, yes, I was hiding.  Under a cloud of depression.  I am treading my heavy feet back into a place of  light.  Started a "new" medication and began a regimented diet and exercise plan.  Giving a new therapist a go at it since my last one moved out of the area.  Making the extra health care activities I was advised to attend to over the last few years a priority.  

I am thankful that I decided to keep my dear dog Oreo, even though at one point I felt like we were mutual burdens to each other.  Oreo appeared to be  the "burden" to me by  being a dog that likes to get into the trash, has destructive anxiety attacks over high-pitched noises (with good reason), and sheds his black fur all over the apartment .  I, being a burden to Oreo, because of my inability to give him the attention and exercise he needed.  Truth-be-told, I would not have gotten out of the house most days during the past five months if it wasn't for Oreo. And gradually we are both getting the exercise and companionship we need.

And, I understand now that Penny was vulnerable to going to this dark place because of Ego. Ego did not want to pay attention to the health issues Penny faces.  Ego wanted to be completely ethereal and upbeat.  Ego didn't want the drudgery of routines and schedules that reminded her of her bodies limitations.  Well now ego has no choice but to face the reality.  

Penny is moving ahead with gracious structure on diet, exercise, and routine.  The steps will be slowly but surely.  (Ego hates going slow!!!).  Penny is ready to live and move and breathe from a place of peace not frantic action.  This is a new skill for her.  And a full life is about constant growth.